Why am I stuck up a tree?
by Lady Padfoot
Summary: Snape and Sirius are shut in a room and are forced to read a fanfic by yours truly. An arguement ensues and Sirius sings! Funny!


Disclaimer: The characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, and The Twelve Days of Christmas belongs to whoever wrote it. I own the idea and actual story.  
  
Why am I stuck up a tree?  
  
* Sirius Black and Severus Snape are sitting at a Muggle computer, reading a fanfic called The Twelve Days of Christmas: Harry Potter Style. They are having an argument.*  
  
Snape: Why am I stuck up a tree?  
  
Sirius: Because you are an annoying slimeball and the author would never stick me up a tree. She likes me.  
  
Snape: That's favoritism. Not fair! * he starts pouting *  
  
Sirius: I think it's a wonderful version of the song, don't you? * Snape gives him the death glare. * You know what, I think I'll sing it for you. * Sirius clears his throat and starts singing. *  
  
1 The Twelve Days of Christmas: Harry Potter Style  
  
1.1 On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
A Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Two red-haired Beaters and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Three best friends, two red-haired Beaters, and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Four Hogwarts houses, three best friends, two red-haired Beaters, and a Snape  
  
Stuck up a tree  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Five golden Snitches, four Hogwarts houses, three best friends, two red-haired  
  
Beaters, and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Six Animagi, five golden Snitches, four Hogwarts houses, three best  
  
Friends, two red-haired Beaters, and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Seven Quidditch players, six Animagi, five golden Snitches, four Hogwarts  
  
Houses, three best friends, two red-haired Beaters, and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Eight owls a-flapping, seven Quidditch players, six Animagi, five golden  
  
Snitches, four Hogwarts houses, three best friends, two red-haired Beaters, and a  
  
Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Nine house elves, eight owls a-flapping, seven Quidditch players, six Animagi,  
  
Five golden Snitches, four Hogwarts houses, three best friends, two red- haired  
  
Beaters, and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Ten wands a-waving, nine house elves, eight owls a-flapping, seven  
  
Quidditch players, six Animagi, five golden Snitches, four Hogwarts houses, three best friends,  
  
Two red-haired Beaters, and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Eleven Ministry wizards, ten wands a-waving, nine house elves, eight owls a-  
  
Flapping, seven Quidditch players, six Animagi, five golden Snitches, four  
  
Hogwarts houses, three best friends, two red-haired Beaters, and a Snape stuck up  
  
A tree  
  
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
  
Twelve Christmas trees, eleven Ministry wizards, ten wands a-waving, nine house  
  
Elves, eight owls a-flapping, seven Quidditch players, six Animagi, five golden  
  
Snitches, four Hogwarts houses, three best friends, two red-haired Beaters, and a Snape stuck up a tree  
  
Sirius: Wasn't that beautiful?  
  
Snape: No.  
  
Sirius: Did you just say you didn't like it?  
  
Snape: Y, yes.  
  
Sirius: I'll have to hurt you as soon as Christmas is over for insulting the author and being a slimy git. Have a Merry Christmas!  
  
Snape: Yeah, sure.  
  
Sirius: What did you say?  
  
Snape: M, merry Christmas!  
  
Sirius: Good.  
  
* Sirius keeps reading fanfics and Snape tries to break out of the room without success. Outside, Dumbledore is heard laughing to himself. * 


End file.
